This Book Is Full of Spiders by David Wong

Compared to John Does at the End, the structural problems here are minor. This actually reads like a novel rather than the world's worst 'fix-up.' But, sadly, this wasn't as zany as the first and it didn't have nearly the number of crazy gags, mysterious world building elements, and good humor per page as the first book in this series. It had a promising start but resigned itself to be one extended zombie joke for much of its page count. Thankfully, the last 25% was a return to form and was satisfying enough for me to consider picking up the next in the series at some point after its release--but not on day one.

If you've read the first book and haven't picked this one up yet, think of this one as Dave and John getting dumped in the Resident Evil film universe. If that sounds great, pick it up. Or, if you like zombies and dick jokes, give it a go. You won't be disappointed.

Full Disclosure: I'm not big on zombies.

Read this book!

a picture of razor blades stuck in an apple

Dead Sea by Tim Curran

If you love monsters, don't even bother reading the rest of this review, just pick up this book. If you love survival at sea stories, don't read further, just pick up this book.

Yes, I, too, like monsters and stories of survival at sea, but I don't like these tropes quite enough to overlook some of this book's shortcomings. I felt this had some pacing problems; the middle was particularly saggy, and the ending felt quite rushed. Key plot elements weren't introduced early enough not seem tacked on at the last minute. The overall effect was like watching one of Zack Snyder's trademark action sequences in the movie 300 when we see the Spartan soldier leap in glorious slow motion toward the enemy and then suddenly snap back into real time to deliver the fatal blow. Except here we'd be watching the Spartan hovering in the air over his enemy for a few minutes of screen time rather than a few drawn out seconds.

Don't get me wrong. I didn't dislike this book. There was a lot I really liked about it. It had a lot of great monsters, harrowing scenes, cool set pieces, and solid characters. (Saks was my favorite.) I just felt it was a bit bogged down with repetitious descriptions of fog and mist. I think some scenes and some characters could have been cut to give the work more focus.

If this book were 70 pages shorter, I'd say that instead of liking it quite a bit, I'd be loving it quite a lot.

Read this book!

Kumquat by Jeff Strand

I don't know that I've ever read a romantic comedy before.

Yet, that's what this is.

If someone had told me that I might one day like such a thing, I'd have said that it was possible but doubtful. I don't read romance. I don't much care for romcoms on film. I'm pretty picky about comedies, especially on the printed page.

So, why did I read this?

Because I saw that Jeff Strand was giving away ARCs on his website for a forthcoming book, and I've liked what I've read by him so far.

When I found out it wasn't horror, that it was a quirky road trip story, I still decided to give it a go because Strand had proven to me that we had compatible comic sensibilities in Dweller.

Was the romance in the book handled well? Was it successful in that way? I mean the guy writes horror for heaven's sake???

I guess so.

I don't know.

Sure.

Sort of.

It didn't feel like a mushy love story. To me, that makes it good. But don't ask me. I don't really know anything about it.

Was it funny?

Yes. I thought it was funny.

You might not.

Funny is so subjective, especially on the page. And funny is so much harder to do in any medium. It really takes an innate talent, along with skill, to pull it off. And even then, you're only going to be successful with those humans with a compatible sense of humor. I think a comic writer or actor can be trained to pull off a successful drama. But I really don't believe it's possible the other way around. You can't teach the kind of broken required for someone to be funny. And, in my mind, Jeff Strand is broken in just such a way that he's able to produce books that I find funny.

The humor in Kumquat more often than not rises naturally from the situation. The characters aren't comedians in disguise throwing off one-liners at every turn. He doesn't use pop-culture references as a cheap humor substitute. Best of all, his writing doesn't come off as 'jokey.'

I hate 'jokey.'

There is an undercurrent of darkness, too, that I like. The horror of sudden, unexpected oblivion underscores the humor in this book and keeps it from seeming frivolous.

Is this a romantic comedy or is it a satire of the romantic tales of doomed lovers that have made Jonathan Sparks a wealthy man? I don't know. Maybe it's both.

What I do know is that I found the novel funny.

Oh, and it remains funny throughout, whereas many comedic tales tend to lose the funny when the plot kicks in.

Recommended to people who find the things I find funny funny.

Read this book!

It Came From Hell and Smashed the Angels is FREE to Download EVERYWHERE

My short horror story "It Came From Hell and Smashed the Angels" is now available just about everywhere as a free eBook download.

If you've not already grabbed a copy, please feel free to do so.

Amazon (US) | Amazon (Canada) | Amazon (UK)
Barnes & Noble | Kobo | Apple iBook  | PayHip (Mobi & ePub)

Full Moon Over Cedar Hill by Edward Lorn (FREE DOWNLOAD)

Full disclosure: I served as a beta reader on this one, so my opinion could be seen as biased.

This little piece of horror handles some tough, real life subject matter that we'll all likely have to deal with at some time in our lives. To Lorn's credit, he doesn't exploit this element of real life horror in this tale. Instead, he treats all involved with the utmost respect. which, in turn, makes the events that unfold all the more horrific.

It's my understanding that this short story is available for free for a limited time (for the next five days, I think). Rumor also has it that this piece will be yanked from Amazon once the free giveaway ends.

I'd recommend that you side-load this bad boy or suck it down via Whispernet while supplies last.

Amazon (US) | Amazon (Canada) 

Amazon (UK) | Amazon (Australia)

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

Note to readers: Don't read the Introduction by Jonathan Lethem until after you've finished the novel. Like many introductions, it completely spoils the novel.

I felt this book had too much falling action. That's it. Nothing else negative to say about this one. Every other aspect of this book I found to be absolutely delightful. This will easily find itself at the top of my 'Best of 2014' list and in my list of all-time favorite novels (if I had one written out somewhere).

This--not The Haunting of Hill House--is Jackson's masterpiece.

Read this book!

The Last Werewolf by Glen Duncan

If you can handle a book where the anti-hero becomes less and less sympathetic the more you learn about him, then give this a try. If you can stomach seemingly endless passages of brooding and self-loathing written by a chain-smoking werewolf imbibing huge amounts of Scotch between kills, you'll love this novel. If you like gore and don't mind lots of intentionally meaningless sex, give this a go.

Yes, this is a novel featuring werewolves and vampires, but its structure is less horror and more espionage thriller. It is very dark, existentially pessimistic even, but it's also quite funny at times--and beautifully written.

It's my understanding that Glen Duncan was known as a writer of literary fiction before he decided to go slumming in the genre ghetto. With that being said, aside from some issues with pacing, he's managed to assimilate, and even elevate, many of the key tropes and plotting conventions of both espionage and horror fiction without once coming off as condescending.

I liked this quite a lot, and I've already downloaded the sequel.

Read this book!

Bay's End by Edward Lorn

This book could be shelved under horror or thriller/suspense. I'd lean more toward the thriller side of things, if it were my job to categorize it. However, if I were the librarian recommending this thing, I'd make sure people knew that this is at its core a coming of age story. I'd also let folks know that the first half is told at a pretty leisurely pace, which perfectly matches the mood of two young boys getting to know each other in an endless summer of nothing to do. It's not until around the 50% mark or so that you begin to realize the author's been sneakily setting up all the dominoes that go tumbling down in the last third of the book. This story transforms smoothly from a funny, almost bittersweet, story of childhood's end into a tense thriller. Nicely done.

I'm not one for framing mechanisms in stories, but Lorn puts the one he's constructed here to good effect. It serves the purpose of creating tension through dramatic irony. It breaks up the action a bit here and there, too. But, as a whole, I could have done without it.

I'm also not a fan of villains explaining their motivations and filling in all the holes in the story just before they are about to (unsuccessfully) kill the heroes. This happens twice in this book! Even though I'm not a fan of this trope, I don't despise it, and I understand why it happens in stories. If I truly hated every story that contained the 'villain explains' gag, I wouldn't like anything ever. I'm just saying I like it better when the author finds a different, better way.

It wasn't my intent to end this review on a sour note. This truly is a touching story and an exciting thriller. Pick it up. If you're so inclined, you can grab a copy for free from Amazon.

I'd recommend you do so.

National Short Story Month Recap

It looks like I read 67 short stories for National Short Story Month. I read a number of individually packaged shorts and four collections: Harmlessly Insane, A Modest Collection of Slightly Shocking Fairy Tales, Seeker, and What the Dark Brings.

Below you'll find the complete list of stories I read in May, presented in roughly the order in which I read them. If the story is currently available as a free download, I've added a link to the source page for your convenience.

"Whatever Possessed You?" by Evans Light
"Gertrude" by Evans Light
"Aboreatum" by Evans Light
"Nose Hears" by Evans Light
"The Mole People Beneath the City" by Evans Light
"Cry Baby" by Evans Light
"Pay Back" by Evans Light
"Curtains for Love" by Evans Light
"Candie Apple" by Evans Light
"The Package" by Evans Light
"Black Door" by Evans Light
"The Sisters Who Gave the Devil His Due" by Richard McGowan
"How to Get Ahead by Kissing Frogs" by Richard McGowan
"The Awful Wages of Unbridled Lesbianism" by Richard McGowan
"Two Little Girls with Runaway Imaginations" by Richard McGowan
"The Little Princess Who Wanted Children" by Richard McGowan
"Taken" by Adam Light
"Way Out of Here" by Adam Light
"No Such Thing" by Edward Lorn
"The Mortician's Temptation" (Not yet published) by Sarah Roberts
"Gone"  by Adam Light
"Serving Spirits" by Adam Light
"Vengence by the Foot" by Adam Light
"The Continuance Agency" by Adam Light
"Peeler" by Gord Rollo (FREE on Amazon!)
"Seeker" by Ade Grant
"Three Ghosts" by Ade Grant
"The Abortionist" by Ade Grant
"Sausages" by Ade Grant
"The Secret Junction" by Ade Grant
"The Couch" by Ade Grant
"The Outlaw Women" (Not yet published) by Amber Foxx
"Chuggie and the Fish Freaks of Farheath" by Brent Michael Kelley
"Literary Sweets" by Edward Lorn
"A Friendly Reminder" by Edward Lorn
"The Monitor" by Edward Lorn
"The Southbound Triple-Six" by Edward Lorn
"Up on the Rooftop" by Edward Lorn
"A Purchase of Titanic Proportions" by Edward Lorn
"The Land of Her" by Edward Lorn
"What the Dark Brings" by Edward Lorn
"That Thing about a Picture and a Thousand Words" by Edward Lorn
"Smitten" by Edward Lorn
"Machinations" by Edward Lorn
"He Who Laughs Last" by Edward Lorn
"The Attraction" by Edward Lorn
"He's Got Issues" by Edward Lorn
"Sissy" by Edward Lorn
"Holes" by Edward Lorn
"The Kissing Booth" by Edward Lorn
"Come to Jesus Meeting" by Edward Lorn
"An Affair to Remember" by Edward Lorn
"Snuggles" by Edward Lorn
"World's Greatest Dad" by Edward Lorn (FREE at Goodreads)
"Offline" by Kealan Patrick Burke
"Tomorrow" (Not yet published) by Sarah Roberts
"Microchip Murder" by Martyn V. Halm (FREE on Amazon!)
"To Read or Not to Read" by Vincent Hobbes (FREE on Amazon!)
"Bobo" by Richard Schiver (FREE on Amazon!)
"Music of the Gods" by Richard Schiver (FREE on Amazon!)
"Wicked Smart Carnie" by Mark Matthews (FREE on Amazon!)
"Zombie Dash" by Mark Matthews (FREE on Amazon!)
"The Damage Done" by Mark Matthews (FREE on Amazon!)
"Concrete Gods" by Harry Shannon and Kealan Patrick Burke
"Faces in Revolving Souls" by Caitlin R. Kiernan (FREE at Lightspeed Magazine)
"When We Were Heroes" by Daniel Abraham (FREE at Tor.com)
"In the House of the Worm" by George R.R. Martin

Story titles appearing in 'bold' above are the standouts.

Animosity by James Newman

This suspense novel is damned near perfect. The only things keeping me from proclaiming this the best thriller I've ever read are some decisions two characters make in the second half of the novel that I didn't quite find believable. Other people might read the whole book and have no idea what I'm talking about, and that would be great. That would mean that they loved this thing even more than I did.

This book does everything a suspense novel should do:

- It kept me up late
- It prevented me from doing far more important things
- It made me feel physically tense most of the time I was reading it
- It caused me to hold my breath at several junctures
- It kept me flipping pages like mad to see what happens next
- It forced me to consume the story in just a few huge gulps

A damn fine read!

Read this book!